When I was 18 and first realizing I wasn't cis, this was the sort of binarism starting to take root. I was socially transitioned by 19. I started HRT right before my 21st birthday.
I'm 28 now, and several years past detransitioning. There's a lot of reasons why. It wasn't a choice I made happily. A not insignificant reason was really, really struggling to negotiate my gender identity with the expectations of so many people.
Well-meaning queer friends would emphasize how I was always a man! Being corrected and chastised for delegitimizing myself while speaking about my experiences! And I internalized that there was something fundamentally wrong with me for still connecting to my femininity and girlhood. For feeling a creeping dysphoria about being A Real Man™️.
Simultaneously, and more loudly, was every flavor of the usual transphobia. Friends mocking me for being a "confused girl". Strangers or dates following and assaulting me in public for not passing (or more horrifying, because I passed as a young boy). Being written up at work for my gender presentation. People I trusted testing me to see if my "real" self met their expectations of a man or woman.
It is very, very difficult to "be true to yourself" when you're punished from every direction. I was shut down at my attempts to dig deeper into my gender – especially when other trans people started hopping on the truscum and binarism train. The rest of the world was pressuring me to politely put myself in the closet, and bit back whenever I refused.
So I gave up. I tried really, really hard to fit myself back in the closet for the better part of a decade. It's been miserable.
However you identify is fine. Language is ever-changing, and all of our experiences are individual. I've met men and women that have always known who they are! But I have also met trans people happily calling themselves homosexual crossdressers. People creating murals of seemingly incompatible terms to define themselves.
This shit is just so personal. And maybe it's just me, but like. What battle is won by stifling the "bad" transgender people? Are you gaining anything from the bigots watching on when they're just eager for us to destroy ourselves?
Is it that you are being hurt from another trans person calling themselves FtM? Or is that somebody else's flimsy justification for harming you??